Very late one night, April - May 2004, I was sitting at the computer, experiencing insomnia and depression as usual. (playing my ten thousandth game of solitaire)

I remember saying, "God it's been almost ten years to the day since my stroke.  I'm trying!  You know that!  But, I'm tired of living like this! If this is it, please get it over with!  Maybe you should have let me die then. It would have been a lot easier!"

Less than one minute later, I heard a chime.  I knew that it meant that we have mail. I opened our email program to find an ad.  It was from someone trying to sell a kit to make crosses.  The ad said that they were good as a business (I would make thousands of dollars a month) and good as therapy for disabled people to make from home.  Being severely disabled myself, it got my attention.

I read it over and over and with my wife's help, (She has the job!) decided that it was just another junk email scam and wouldn't be worth the risk. 

Life drifted back into the same old rut for the next week or two.  I had completely forgotten about the incident when the exact series of events happened again!

I thought, "This can't be coincidence. God wants me to make those crosses."  I begged her to let me get try.  Reluctantly, she ordered the kit.

The kit arrived in a few days with a video and enough supplies to make twenty-five crosses.  With my wife's help, we began trying to make them.  But, she couldn't make them either!  The few that actually made it to completion were pitiful to say the least.  Virtually every one of them ended up in the trash can.

To continue we needed more supplies. The kit came with a contract that indicated to make them, she had to sign and return it and purchase supplies from them.  But the supplies were expensive and we were throwing them all away anyway.  Profit was never our objective.

She called to discuss this with them informing them of my condition and that we were having a lot of trouble.  She was told that it didn't matter; they had standards of quality to maintain.  To participate in their buy back program, we had to purchase supplies from them to meet their standards.

Then she explained that we had no intention of participating in the program.  We only want to make them as therapy.  There was no way that our crosses would ever be approved!

She was told that we still had to sign the contract and purchase supplies to have permission to make them.

She asked, "Why?  We're going to throw them all away? When is a 'Xxx Cross' not a 'Xxx Cross'?"

It took several phone calls but she was finally told, "Fine do whatever you want, but don't use our name."

At the time we knew absolutely nothing and didn't know where to go for help.  The video instructed how to make their crosses with their materials, for them and that was it.  It never went into specifics about anything.  It became apparent that if we were going to succeed, we were going to have to do it on our own.

We took a bent nail and a deformed cross from the trashcan and began visiting the hardware stores.  No one even knew what they were.  After visiting all of our hardware chain stores, we started going to smaller locally owned hardware and specialty hardwood stores.  We were beginning to give up hope, when we finally went into one of the smaller stores.

A man there looked at the nail and cross and said, "That looks like the crosses our church youth group makes every year as fund raisers.  Go see the blacksmith at the fairgrounds. 

When we got there we began to finally make headway.  I was explaining our intentions and problems when he said, "Just try different size nail".  He identified the nail and gave us a catalog to order more informing us that they came in different sizes.

We modified the components to make assembly easier for people like ourselves.  With time, practice and many wasted nails, they have evolved into an attractive, respectable cross.

These crosses and the series of events that have followed since we began making them have literally changed our lives and have given me a reason for living again.  I would recommend making horseshoe nail crosses to everyone!  Although I seriously doubt that you will ever make thousands of dollars a month, It can still be a very rewarding experience!!!  (read more)

 Written with/for my husband Rick 

	My Near Death Experience* - (Severe Base of the Brain Stroke)  -  Lessons Learned, Count Your Blessings & "The Rest of the Story"
	How I Make a Horseshoe Nail Christian Cross Necklace - The motivating craft idea that changed our lives!!! (Great when used as therapy to improve motor skills.)
* Written w/for my husband Rick after his severe brain injury

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